After she was taken

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

Susan looked around her unable to believe the evidence that was before her. Tracks were left by a child, some beast had chased them. A beast with lion's paws. She had seen Lucy be attacked by this monster not long ago, but did not see the monster itself. When dawn came she had to tell the truth to all Narnia, but when they questioned her she could only turn them down simply because she had no answers to give. With every passing moment she wanted more and more to cry.

This is all my fault, she thought, If I had only stayed on earth where I was supposed to then this wouldn't have happened. I'm so sorry For a few days she had been able to keep her emotions together, but now, with everyone gone, she could only cry.

[King Caspian X]

Caspian appeared so silently that it could have seemed he came from the air. He sat down beside Susan and put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. "We will find your sister." he said comfortingly. His voice was almost a whisper. The King couldn't think of anyone that would do such a thing. Queen Lucy had befriended almost everyone, and those that she hadn't she still showed kindness towards. There was a search party going on right now for the little Queen, but still she hadn't been found. Caspian refused to give up hope though, and refused to believe that it had been Aslan that took the child, no matter the hum of rumors in the castle.

A light wind was blowing among the trees, and their leaves swayed gently. It would appear that even these great plants held a sorrow. The animals in this part of the forest must have deserted their homes when Lucy was attacked, because not one of them scurried through the grass or hopped along the branches. Not even a croaking frog could be heard.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

When she felt his touch she threw herself in his arms crying into his chest. Something about the way he held her still gave her comfort, even in these dark times.

"How could you understand?" she managed to say, "It is because I came here in the first place that she was taken. I saw when she was taken, though I couldn't see what it was. I failed, and now, she's probably . . ." she could not bear to finish.

But there was so much more she wanted to say, but here, and now, were not the time. For fear of a breaking heart, she could not allow herself to speak untill Lucy was safe in their keep's walls. If that day ever was to come.

[King Caspian X]

Caspian stroked her hair gently. "Shhhh... That's not true, Susan." he said. "It's not your fault. Why would Aslan want punish Lucy? She was meant to come back to Narnia. She believed in that Lion the most of anyone. It's not your fault, Susan." said the King. "There was nothing you could do. We will find Lucy no matter what. I promise." Caspian hated seeing her in so much pain. Why did she believe that it was herself to blame? "Look at me." he said, gazing into her tearful eyes. "It's going to be alright." Caspian did his best to believe those words, too. It will be alright, he told himself. The King gave her an encouraging pat on the back and hugged her tighter. He knew how she felt. All of Narnia was grieving over the disapperance of Lucy, but she was Susan's sister. Caspian knew how it felt to lose a loved one, he could remember when his father was killed. But what he didn't know was how it felt not to know if your family was dead or alive.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

Caspian spoke in words so calming, so reassuring to her, that she almost believed them. When he looked into her eyes all of her pain seemed to fade, just a little. And when he held her tighter her fear left her entirely. Though all the silence that frightened her and the monster that hunted them was still around she could not bring herself to care at the moment. She was at peace.

"I know," she said returning his embrace "I just don't know what to believe. If it wasn't Aslan, then who was it that is capable of vanishing in only a few seconds. No animal runs that fast and no Griffin can fly like that. And even then, there is no trail after this spot where she fell. I can't help but think Aslan took her to punish me, even if I can't understand. He is not a tame lion."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian shook his head. "I know. But if he wanted to punish you he would have taken you. Don't you think? But but by taking Lucy he is hurting you, me, Peter, Edmund, and the whole of Narnia. I don't know what took your sister, but I feel deeply in my heart that it was not Aslan. This forest is haunted, maybe it was a ghost that could have taken your sister. If it was, then we are lucky. Ghosts can only hide things, not hurt them." The King frowned. But if it was a ghost that had taken Lucy, she would have returned by now to the Castle. he thought quietly.

It was quiet in the forest again. The breeze was cooling as it touched the tree-covered ground. "What are you doing out here alone, anyway?" he asked Susan. "It's dangerous for you to be out here."

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

For the first time Susan stopped to think. But she wanted to think clearly this time, to push out everything that was confusing her. Why did she come her? Was it to find Lucy or cry; or was it to find this monster and die? But she couldn't have an answer like he wanted and could only stay silent as the breeze came making her shiver rather than cool her off as it should have. The sun shown high above them with no clouds to block it's light. All of the destruction of the path Lucy had taken to flee this monster was clearly lit as well as the lion's tracks beside it.

But then, when she thought she could no longer look at the trail, she saw to the side not far from where she sat, a long black feather. She picked it up and looked it over several times. It was black as truest darkness with the edges tainted with dried blood. It could be any bird, she would think, all birds in Narnia have feathers just like in England. But no mater what she tried she could not shake the thought that this bird was the one that stole her sister.

[King Caspian X]

"Are you cold?" he asked her. It was a summer day, and there was no reason for Susan to be cold, but Caspian had seen her shiver. "What's that?" he asked when he saw her pick up the bloodied feather. The King must have known what his lover must be thinking, because he asked, "How could this be from Lucy's captor? It doesn't fit with the lion tracks..." But in a way, it did. What if Aslan had been trying to save the child, but was too slow to stop... whatever it was. That would explain his disappearance too, and why there wasn't a third set of tracks. Caspian looked at Susan, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"Only if you think a griffon has lion's paws. aside from that I still can't think straight." She sat down again and burried her head in her hands. All she wanted was to screem. Already her mind was doing it, all it needed was a voice to command. But after being queen once before she knew screaming and crying uncontrolably can have no positive effects. But not even the years of her leadership over Narnia could keep her hands from trembling now. "What are you thinking?"

[King Caspian X]

"Some gryphons do have all four lion paws, but you said yourself that no gryphon could fly like that." said Caspian. He put a hand on her shoulder before he said the next bit, "But what if Aslan was trying to save her? Harpies are strong birds. And if it is a Harpy, then you can be certain that the Lion is on a quest to save Lucy. It explains both his tracks and why there is not a third set of footprints, and it also explains the feather." said the King. "I could be wrong, though. There are often times many explanations to one problem." He said truthfully. But Caspian hoped in his heart that he wasn't wrong. He still didn't want to believe that Aslan was a murderer. The King wanted to tell Susan not to cry, that there was no need to because it wouldn't bring Lucy back. But he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't because he knew that she did need to cry, and no one should have to be strong all of the time. "It's going to be okay." Caspian said.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

'No," she said shaking her head, "No it won't. If Aslan was fighting to save Lucy then he lost. There is something out there more powerful than the very thing we have depended on for so long. What if Aslan is not strong enough to save us? what then?" She could feel herself beginning to cry again and forced it down. In doing this he hands shook more. When she forced them to be still she felt as though her stomach would lurch. was there any way she could win? "I just don't think I'm ready to die."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian held her close to him. "You don't need to worry about dying." he said to her. "Because I will not let that happen." The King kissed her cheek and spoke, "Aslan is not lost. He created everything in Narnia, and nothing will ever defeat him. Perhaps he is following your sister as we speak, and if he is then you can be sure that she is safe. And if Aslan is not strong enough to save us, then we will have to be strong enough to save him. But don't you worry about that either, because he is strong enough." ... I hope. Caspian finished the sentence in his head.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

She felt him kiss her and all the world was more silent than before. Even her own confused thoughts quieted. All was still, as if time stopped, for only a moment. But, as all things do, the peace ended as well. and her thoughts returned only making their path more twisted and tangled and their future more unclear.

"But is Aslan is for us why dose he not come and help us? Why would he hide?"

But not a moment after she had spoken her mind shouted diffrent things to her, Stop it, she thought, no more of this. Look at him, can't you see he's hurting because you won't shut up. Aslan and Lucy are gone because of you. Would you have him join them?

[King Caspian X]

"For the same reason he did not come during the battle between Narnia and Telmar." said Caspian. "Aslan would not abandon his people, I don't think he would hide at all." said the King in response to her second question. He felt bad for Susan. "Why do you worry so much of things beyond your control?" Caspian asked softly.

He quietly prayed that Aslan would appear from the brush to help him answer all of Susan's questions. Where was the Great Lion right now? Was he tracking the beast that had stolen the Queen? Was he planning a great attack against the kidnapper? Or was he really the criminal? No. Caspian refused to believe that. Aslan was not a murderer, and especially not Lucy's.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"Because they need to be in our control." She answered as her mind screemed for her to shut up again. She was silent for a long time as her thoughts spun through her head faster than she could keep up. Why was she still talking? This was getting her no closer to Lucy or to her captor. She wanted to believe so much more could be going on, that there could be a resonable explination. But no mater how she tried she always came back to Aslan wanting only to punish Susan for returning to NArnia. Finally she sighed and spoke again, this time in a tone much quieter, more afraid, and filled with sorrow.

"Caspian, I still believe that no mater how we try to come up with an answer that it will all come down to being my fault. Aslan said not to come and I did. I came so I could see you, because I love you. And everyone else followed to try to tell me to turn around. We fought alot and the last time I saw Lucy I yelled at her to the point were she cried. I remember seeing Ed doing things like that and being so angry with him that I could hardly sleep. And now . . . now I won't even be able to apologize to her. And to make things even worse now I can think that this monster will come for you too. I can't stand to think that. So I will go. I don't know where I will go just yet, but it will be someplace far from here where Aslan won't be able to see how much I love you."