First Meet(Caspian)

[King Caspian X]

"What happened?" asked Caspian, painfully placing Lucy's gift back into his pocket. To do so meant only a higher possibility of Susan getting into trouble and facing death. The envelope stayed out of is cape, resting on the table. "What has he done to you?" asked her husband, sitting a little closer to her. He wanted to know, wanted to understand. He wanted his wife to be happy with him, and he wanted to make each moment with her better. But would she push him away again? Would she tell him that it was none of his business, that he could never understand?

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

Idiot . . . Why did she have to tell him things that made him question her. And then why did she have to answer. Her head hung as she thought of how to tell him, how to make him understand. He had little to no relationship with his father and what he did have was always happy. "My father is not the man you saw at the wedding or after Galen was born. A few years after Lucy was born our mother was sick, she was going to die. Our father was broken beyond anything we knew was possible. He started drinking then, constantly. That was when he changed. I was . . .ten then, Lucy maybe four or five. His anniversary came and passed and she was still sick, she was actually getting worse and was in a coma by then. I still don't actually know what happened. His drinking only got worse. Then, when I came home one time, I could already smell the alcohol before I came in and to make matters worse I could hear Lucy crying. When I went in she was on the floor and he was yelling at someone that wasn't there. I put Lucy in her bed and tried to calm her down, but she didn't understand what was happening, she was too young. I suppose my own flaw was confronting him to begin with. I think I yelled at him for ignoring him when he needed her. So he hit me hard enough to knock me out. That was when it first started. For maybe a year or two there was nothing but him drinking and taking all his anger from work, which he was fired eventualy for his excessive drinking that was somehow blamed on me, to his worry about mom. It became something that was normal, that happened every day. But when I tried to escape it, thinking I could run away to our uncle's house or something, he only changed his focus to little Lucy and I came back. The boys never knew. He was very good at keeping it hidden from them and mother when she was well again. None of them knew. It was only when he was sent off to the war did it stopped. That's why I didn't want to tell him anything, I thought he would react a lot differently. You saw part of it when you told him about what happened to Lucy. He managed to control himself only because you were there. If you weren't I would have another beating."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian felt his jaw begin to clench and his teeth begin to grind together as her story went on. He wanted so badly to comfort her, but didn't know what to say. "That's dreadful." he told her, trying to show Susan that he really did understand. But he also prayed that she could be on good terms with her own father, something that Caspian could no longer do with his dad because he was dead. "Do you think that perhaps the war has changed him any?" he asked. "Alchohol makes people change. Maybe he's stopped drinking when he was fighting." he said. "You should read his letter. When he gave it to me, it seemed important." Caspian said, nudging the paper closer to his wife again. "It can't hurt to at least read what he has to say. If you don't like it, you can pretend that you've never read it." he told her. The man that she spoke of and the man that was up pacing in the Castle were different. That man loved her, was worried about her, actually cared. Nor had he once picked up even the slightest glass of ale to drown his problems, even after hearing about Lucy.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"I don't know," she admited sadly, "if I try to accept him now and something goes wrong then where dose that leave me? I know he won't hurt you, for reasons I don't understand yet, but I already have enough people trying to hurt me. I don't want to make things worse to us or any children i may have later. I just can't trust him again." She hated not being able to look at her own father the way Caspian had looked when he spoke of his. She wanted to be happy with him, but the chances seemed to slim. "I just can't do it now. Maybe after a little longer of me watching to make sure he dosn't have any more anger fits. But, just don't tell him I told you this."

[King Caspian X]

"I won't say a word." Caspian promised, and kissed her, knowing that for her safety, she might be leaving soon. "But I'll hold on to this. Just let me know when you want it back." Caspian tucked the letter into his pocket. Then he simply held her tightly, never wanting her to go. But of course, the dreadful question had to leave his lips. "How much longer may I stay with you?" he asked his wife.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"I don't know," She told him wishing she could see the sun again. She was still surprised that Lamont hadn't gone looking for her. For the first time since she had come there she began to think of things other than her family and realized the both of them were not alone. A girl she didn't know was sitting nearby hearing their every word. Fear of the exposure of the things she said passed over her, "You won't say anything either, will you."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian looked over at Syria. "I don't think she will. She's a kind child." he told Susan. "This is Syria. She was the first of the slaves that we rescued from the Dark Isles and from Lamont. Syria, this is Susan, my wife." Caspian introduced the two of them. "Syria and I were just talking about coming to save you before you came." he told his lover. "She wanted to come and help, too."

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"Thank you," She said with a small bow to the girl, "As long as Caspian is king you won't ever have to deal with slavey anymore. But you don't need to rescue me, I've already dragged down enough people. Go and find your own life and live it happily."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian set his head on Susan's shoulder as he held her. "You don't drag people down." he told defended her from herself. "The whole Kingdom loves you. And so do I." Caspian wished so badly that his lover wouldn't think so poorly of herself. Ever since she had returned, she had only believed that she was lower than dirt. Why couldn't she see how magnificent she really was?

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"I know you do." She said softly but her voice hardened instantly in anger for herself. "And because of it you have suffered. I kept Aslan away, showed Lamont the passage to Narnia, saw him take Lucy but didn't do anything about it, let Lamont hurt and marry me, and carried Lamont's children just so he could kill them. I'm sure there are other things that I've done that I just can't think of because the other ones make me feel horrible enough already, much less with the Dark Isle's voice nagging me constantly.

[King Caspian X]

"I do not feel that I have suffered." Caspian told her defensively. "The most that I have suffered was watching you suffer. I couldn't, can't, bare to see you in all the pain that you're in. I can't bare to see you living with him, can't bare to see him hurting you." Caspian kissed the side of her face. "And I can't bare to see you hurting yourself. Susan, you think so lowly of yourself because to the actions of the Devil. You haven't done anything wrong. You are amazing." he told her, smiling, but then he frowned. "But you don't give yourself a morsel of enough credit that you deserve. I've told you before, you are second only to Aslan."

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

Susan leaned against him as he spoke. His words were comforting and gave her hope, if noting else. "The Dark Island's voice says that your love for me is clouding your judgement. In part, I agree with him even if I don't want to. When I was in school years ago, before I met you, and I thought I loved him. Everything about him was perfect. But the day I found out he was cheeting on me I started seeing things I had never bothered to notice before, and if I had noticed them before I had ignored them because I wanted to focus on how wonderful he was. You could just be doing the same thing, one day you'll understand."

[King Caspian X]

"No." Caspian said. "My judgement isn't clouded. I can see it fairly." he defended. Then he listened as she told him about some of her life in England. "Who was cheating on you?" he asked. Caspian would have cracked his knuckles if his wrist wasn't so broken. He couldn't believe that there really were idiots out there that would ever dream of cheating on Susan. It would be a lie to say that he wasn't pleased that she and whoever it was had broken up. Because of that boy's mistake, Susan was his wife now. He wrapped his arms around her gently, savoring every moment of time that he had with her.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"He dosn't matter." She told him, "He's just another part of my life that I regret." Just like almost everything else. I don't regret Caspian. I said almost, not all." Why must you always be right? Because I am truth. We have already gone through this. Just leave me alone. You must learn to seperate truth and reality and dreams and fantasy. Only then can I truly leave you. Anything else would simply drive me away.

[Damian]

Damian came floating through the trees as a light, and almost invisible, cloud of smoke. The baby Galen was in his arms, and he was bringing him back to his father. How wide did his eyes grow to see Susan sitting there aswell, along with another girl that must have been only around thirteen. Damian sank low to the grass and glided over it, coming to the King and Queen quietly. He would suprise them, perhaps. But as he aproached, Galen let loose a happy cry to see his mother. He recognized her imediately. The Fire Spirit put a hand over the little one's mouth for only a moment. "Shhhh." he said, and then took his hand away.