A Gift For You, My Darling (Susan only, please)(R)

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"He could have died just now," She said still rocking him. He seemed normal now, just as he said, but he still coughed every now and then keeping her afraid still. "We nearly kill him and you laugh at him. Dosen't this scare you, at least a little?"

[King Caspian X]

"I was a little worried, but he wasn't going to die. He was just laughing too hard, that's all. All children do that." he told her. Caspian kissed the worried girl on the neck, "You worry too much. He's alright." Galen put his arms up, but the kiss was over before he could try to push his father away. Caspian smiled and kissed his son on the head, and the baby laughed and tried to push his head away.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"But if he didn't stop then he wouldn't get the air he needs to survive. He would have just died in my arms because of us. The chance may have been slim but there is still a chance. Maybe I do worry to much, maybe I am overprotective, but it's not without cause. Every moment he lives there is more than another that he is in grave danger. He is my son making him an enemy to the demons, but he is also Lamont's making him an enemy to Narnia. The world is already set against him and I don't want to make things any worse for him."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian shook his head. "He's my son." he told her. "And because he's our son, Narnia loves him." Caspian didn't like considering Lamont as Galen's father. He wrapped his arms tightly around his family as if the boy would appear right then through the window and try to snatch them again. But he wouldn't. Lamont wasn't here, and they were safe.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"I know, and for now so do they. But how long can we keep it secret. Sooner or later the demon boy will just tell Narnia the truth of the Dark Island, adding in what he pleases, and the world will be against us again." She dropped her head and kissed the boy. Why hadn't she been stronger on the Island. She was more than grateful for the son, but she still wished it could have come much later. Then he would truly be Caspian's son and he would not have to live in the shame of Narnia believing he had bedded before their engagement and wedding. Then she truly would have been able to give her entire being on the wedding night instead of constantly having to look away because of the images that came into her mind. Why couldn't she have been stronger?

[King Caspian X]

Caspian ran his fingers through her hair softly. "Susan." he said. "No one is against you, or Galen. Narnia loves you and our son. If Lamont tells them what happened, he's only making it worse for himself. You were raped, darling. You didn't do anything willingly, and the people will know that. They will love Galen because he is your son." Caspian held her tightly, and Galen snuggled into his parents. He looked tired, and yawned.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

?"You think he would tell anyone what he did?" She looked away as she realized she was begining to cry. Galen squrimed in her arms knowing something was wrong but not knowing what to do. "He'd find some way to make it sound like I made you stay away from me just so I could be with him. You remember how much I fought to let us seperate because I thought it would help save Lyric. He'd use those words against me and say I ran into his arms in the forest where none could see us. That the screams you heard were ones of pleasure. He'd never let anyone know what was truth; he's not a fool no mater how I wish he was. At least then he'd be eaiser to beat."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian rubbed her shoulder and wiped away her tears, the desire to kill Lamont for what he did to Susan coming back to him. "Listen to me." he said. "Lamont doesn't know that you fought to be separated. And even if he does, he couldn't make it sound like you wanted to be with him. Truth always overcomes lies." he told her. "And besides, Narnia will believe us over him. They hate him already, they wouldn't believe the words of an enemy." Caspian let her cry, wiping away her tears as they fell. "Susan, Narnia will never be against you. And Lamont wouldn't be able to get them to listen. At the sight of him they all raise their swords. His voice would not be heard over their battle cries."

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"How can they not be against me? Don't you remember that it was Reepicheep and the other Narnians, not demons, that screamed for the blood of my children. It was them who condemed them to death and it was only by Lennia's magic that Galen lived to see birth. They do not side with us as much as Lamont dose. I wan't to believe they are loyal, but I can't trust them after they aided Lamont, of all beasts, in the murder of two of my unborn children. We are still alone in this war."

[King Caspian X]

"What about the dark magic that inhabits Peter?" Caspian asked. "Don't you think that that had a role in the Narnians' actions? They weren't themselves. Peter has attacked me when under the magic, surely it was the same for the Narnians." Galen had falled asleep in her arms, unable to keep up with their conversation, so Caspian kept his voice low. He looked at his tearful wife, wanting to say something that would make her feel better. Anything. "Let your mind rest, Cuddle-bug." he told her, wiping away another tear and stroking her nose and the space between her eyes softly as he spoke.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"No, I saw their eyes, there was no magic. they all wanted me dead, but let me live only to sentence me to a life of suffering. They did it well." Galen fell asleep and she stroked the thin whisps of his hair. He looked so peaceful and she wondered, as she often did, what his brothers or sisters would have looked like if they survived that night. "I wish I could sleep, but the nightmares come then. There is no rest for me."

[King Caspian X]

"I'll find a way to make them go away." Caspian said. He didn't want her having nightmares all the time. He wanted her mind to be a safe place that she could go to, like everyone else did. Especially when everywhere else in the world seemed so dangerous. "Does it still hurt?" he asked, referring to the scar on her belly where Lamont had stabbed her.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"It was more than five months ago, it's only a memory now." But it was still a painful one. She added the last part silently not wanting him to worry more than he already did. He already fought so hard for her that to add to his troubles and fears seemed wrong. But always her heart would hurt thousands of times worse than her body. She kissed his jawline and let the fingertips of the hand that was not needed to hold her child trace an invisible line over his face and neck. There was only one thing that could happen now that could help her, but she would not bring it up again. It had brought her too much heartache when she asked for it last time.

[King Caspian X]

He turned his head and kissed her palm, and he scratched her back. "What's bothering you?" he asked her, looking into her soft eyes. She looked tired too, and Caspian wished that he could help. If she even wanted to sleep, and risk the nightmares, a sleeping medicine could be made for her. He felt bad for his wife. His Cuddle-bug. She was always suffering, always mourning. He kissed her nose softly. "Tell me, please." he said. "I'll listen."

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

He asked. She would tell. "Last time I asked you denied me. The rejection you gave me was more painful then the horrible choice I made. Please, my lord, can't you forgive me for how I've wronged you. Can't you forgive me for leaving you for the demon. Please. You took in Galen as I asked and now that is all I could ever ask of you. Forgive me."