A Meeting with the King

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"I went to Moonsilver, one of the unicorns. He's not like the other unicorns, not living in a heard a rogue. I trusted he wouldn't say anything to anyone while he healed me. But when I asked them about the child he said 'there is dark magic at work within you, not just mortal wounds. The holy magic of the unicorns cannot help you.' I stayed with him for a while before I came back."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian kissed her. He was glad that she was alright. But then he continued to ask questions. "How much longer were you going to keep all this from me?" he inquired. The King hoped that he wasn't trespassing too much will all of these questions, but he also felt like she had been keeping him in the dark. What else didn't he know about? What else wasn't she telling him? He loved her, and his heart felt like it was being torn apart with all these secrets.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"Until you realized something was wrong." she told him sadly knowing it was truth. "I didn't think it would take this long. I thought maybe you would wonder where Glennstorm was like I did. I thought you would realize that only one child kicks now instead of three. I kept expecting you to ask me, but you never did."

[King Caspian X]

Caspian felt very small now, and it was he who broke their gaze this time. Edmund had returned from Calormen, but Glennstorm had not been with him. It is true that only one of his children had been kicking, and now it was Caspian who was ashamed in front of his wife. He hadn't really noticed, only made up little stories for himself that explained these things. He had told himself that perhaps it was because at times one child might be sleeping, the other thinking, and then the one that had kicked him was playing. He didn't know that it was the same child everytime. How could he? As for Glennstorm, Caspian didn't see him on a daily basis anyway. Come to think of it, he barely saw the centaur at all, except to discuss attacks. But there allies were with them now, and no one really knew where Lamont was hiding. That's why no attacks had been planned. The defense had been restored, and Caspian had ordered for them to start making pitch again, after the attack lead by the demons had occured. He felt like an awful King, an awful husband. Pain and sorrow and heavy guilt filled his expression. He couldn't look up at Susan or say anything. But he forced himself to. "Why don't the other two kick anymore?" he asked, but that was all he could say before yet again his ability to talk was snatched from his throat. He still couldn't meet her eyes. Not this time. Caspian felt like a coward.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"Because . . ." she was silent for a while as she took the hand he had offered her a while ago. Why she hadn't taken it before she didn't know entirely. But now that she did she held it tight never wanting to let go. After this, because of this, he had no reason to trust her ever again. If not for the child that remained he had every right to leave her "Because the other two have no life in them left to move."

[King Caspian X]

"I thought that you said that they weren't dead." Caspian said, tears streaming quietly from his eyes now. His put his hand on his children, and just like she said, only one of them would ever kick his hand. He held her hand. He felt like a miserable failure. It was because of him that his children were dead. It was because of his mistakes (even if he didn't quite know what they were) that his wife was keeping things from him. She never had done this to him before. It was because of him that all of Narnia was in danger. He hadn't killed his cousin when he had the chance, before he became a Devil. Everything was his fault, and he knew it. Caspian couldn't take his eyes off of her belly knowing that inside of it lay his child with the two dead bodies of its siblings. What had started out as a happy day for a stupid man had turned into a dreadful universe for a smarter one. The same man, the same Caspian. But it was better this way. It was the price that he had to pay for knowing the truth.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"I said I didn't want to tell you they were and find out I was wrong." she cried, "But I wasn't wrong ant that only made things worse. I couldn't say it to your face, I was too afraid. It isn't because of you, don't ever think it's because of you. I just, can't get things straight like I should. I fail too much."

[King Caspian X]

"No, Susan." Caspian put a hand on her shoulder. "You have never failed." tears were still flowing from his eyes, yet another shame on his part. "It's I that have failed. I should have been there when you were taken -both times. I should have noticed things and been more aware. I should have kept track of my soldiers. I should have been acting more like a King than a boy in a fantasy world, imagining that that things are peaceful when they really aren't. I shouldn't have been so oblivious to what was going on in my Kingdom. I should have killed Lamont when I had the opertunity. I should have been there to protect you, always, like I promised." Caspian was shaking now. He felt like a broken dog that someone had dropped off the face of a cliff. To think these things to himself was one thing, but to say them out loud was another. Everything became true to him after that. There was not one false thing in his statements. "You have never failed." he told her again, and kissed her jawline.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"But you are still a boy," she told him kissing him, "and you deserve a fantasy life. Before Gelnnstorm took me I thought I was living a fantasy life. Everything seemed so perfect after the wedding and I wanted it to stay that way. I don't want to deal with Lamont anymore and I know you don't either. But we're stuck with him, only Aslan can kill him now that he's gone and made himself a demon. But I don't believe him. I think he's just a scared boy that lost his most powerful ally to you and found another way to bring fear to us. In order to be a son of someone they need to be his father. That would make you a demon as well, and you're not."

[King Caspian X]

"But even Aslan agrees that Lamont is a Demon." Caspian said. "So techniqually, I could be part demon too. But I'm not. At least I don't think that I am." He frowned. The King stoked her belly sadly, now that they only had one child. "And you're just a girl." Caspian said. "You shouldn't have to take on all this responsibility." He was talking about the baby now. Lamont had put a lot of responsibility on her shoulders. He had put a lot of responsibility on both of them. Susan would be a mother, and Caspian a father. They would spend many sleepless nights, getting up and rocking the baby after it was born. Changing diapers and dressing it in clothes. But with all of that would come joy, too. They would be parents, and they would teach their baby how to read and write and talk. But in truth, neither of them were really ready of all of this. Especially in the middle of a war. True, both of them wanted this baby, but it was forced upon them and they weren't ready. Months had passed since their wedding, and Susan was obviously pregnant now. She must have told her father by now, or at least Caspian thought. There were a lot of things that he didn't know though, so he asked. "Does your father know yet?" still stroking the child softly.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"He's seen it, but I think he's been avoiding me." She said, "he's not an idiot, he knows I'm due soon. Far too soon to have concieved after the wedding. If I did give birth before it's time there are so many other complications that come with it. Chances are neither of us would survive. And Aslan never actualy came out and said he's a demon, just that only he could kill him. You are not a son of Tash." She said knowing that if actualy was true she would never accept it. Tash was a monster, sacrificing people for his enjoyment. He was everything Aslan lived to be against. In Aslan's presence the demon had no power, he was lesser than his great opposite. "How can the son of Aslan's greatest adversairy be the king of his land?"

[King Caspian X]

"No, I am not a son of Tash." Caspian echoed. "My father was Caspian Miraz." he held her hand tightly. He didn't want to think about losing her. He wanted to tell her that he wouldn't let her or the baby die, just like he always did. But he couldn't. Caspian had already let two of his children die at the hands of his cousin. Instead he just held her close to him, looking into her eyes. His gaze was apologetic, fearful, yet loving. It seemed to almost plead for her forgivness.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"exactly, either it is someone farther along your bloodline or Miraz isn't Lamont's real father. That I have trouble believing. Your not a demon's son, so he isn't either. He's just scared."

[King Caspian X]

"I hope you're right." Caspian said, and kissed her fingers. He snuggled his head against her shoulder. "I'm sorry for waking you up." he said. It was true that he woke her up horribly. Already she had cried today, and it was his fault for asking so many questions.

[Queen Susan the Gentle]

"It's alright," She told him, "you deserved to know what happened. And if anything it's proof that things are beginning to fall apart. Some of our most trusted warriors are turning against us. There's something Lamont's planning, and when it hits Aslan knows what'll happen."